First and Only
by juz-dream
Summary: We are one. And that was what Naruto thought, before Sasuke left him. Before he allowed Sasuke to leave him. SasuNaru


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (sigh).**

**A/N: It's SasuNaru. Kind of AU though. And, all the mistakes are mine! I'm sorry! Not the best writer in town "**

Sasuke and Naruto – these two names can hardly be separated from one another. They were neighbours, they were childhood friends, they were classmates, they were rivals, they were best friends and they were each other's first love.

Yet, they were bipolar opposites. Sasuke is the epitome of the darkness and Naruto is nothing less than a walking sun. Sasuke has the darkest (and most mysterious) eyes one could ever wish for and Naruto's eyes are as clear as the bright blue sky. Sasuke has a head of midnight blue hair and Naruto is a stunning blonde. Sasuke is a man of few words and Naruto just couldn't shut up.

_"Each word Sasuke says is like gold, rare and precious, because he can't talk enough to save his own life! Ha!"  
_"_That is because you talk enough for the both of us, dobe."  
_"_No! I do not!"  
_"Yeah. I forgot, you talk enough for both our families."  
"_No! I do not! Sasuke-teme you get back here right now! I do not talk that much! Mum talks as much as I do! Sasuke! Eh! Wait for me! Teme!"_

Nothing, nothing was similar about them at all, yet they are drawn so closely together, as if by an invisible magnet, that you might suspect they are just one single entity.

_We are one._ And that was what Naruto thought, before Sasuke left him. _Before he allowed Sasuke to leave him._

Naruto had always known that their dreams were different, world apart in fact. That's why he never chose to talk about it; he thought that maybe being in denial would reduce the amount of pain when Sasuke finally tells him that _I am leaving to seek my own life; I'm leaving you._ But what Naruto hadn't expected was for that_ fucking bastard_ to leave without even saying anything at all. Not even a goodbye. Naruto won't had even know if he hadn't decide to drop by Sasuke's house after not seeing or hearing from him for 2 weeks.

"_Hi Aunt Mikoto! Where's S'ke?" She gave him a frown and said, "Sasuke had left for England last Monday, he said you couldn't go send him off cause you had something on?" "Wh…at?" The smile dropped from Naruto's face, he didn't know how to react, or rather how should he react. The information that Sasuke had left didn't manage to sink in; he just stood there, staring blankly. _

"_Naruto, did you two have a fight or something?" Naruto shook his head dumbly, said his thanks and asked to be excused. The moment he left Sasuke's house he started running; to where? He had no idea. All that was flashing through his mind was that Sasuke was gone, after more than a decade of being here for him, he's now gone; without a word. _

_Unknowingly, he ran to their favourite hideout (as Naruto liked to call it). The small, homely café that was just a couple of streets away from their houses. They used to hang out there when they were in elementary school, pooling their money together just to buy a piece of cake; then when they got separated in middle school (because Naruto was always one step away from Sasuke, he didn't manage to get into the same middle school as him.) they went there to study together for their exams. Naruto thought, everything will always stay the same, at least all the way until they finished college. _

_The bell rang as Naruto stepped into the café, the same shopkeeper from a decade ago was still there, selling the same type of cakes and giving him the same smile. "Hi Naruto! The same order?" "Yeah." The same order, without the same people._

_Naruto's heart clenched as he sat down on the same table that he and Sasuke had occupied for a decade. "One ice café latte, one hot chocolate and two pieces of strawberry cheesecake! And here are some cookies! On the house! Oh! Where's Sasuke? Parking the car?" Naruto took a deep breath and gave the brightest smile he could master, "Sasuke's busy he… he won't be coming with me for a while now." _

"_Ah, that's sad! It's hard to come by when I make cookies. Well, I'll take his order back then," as the shopkeeper reached out for the cup Naruto started, "It's okay, I'll eat his share." "You sure? It's a lot you know…" Another heartbreaking smile, "Yeah," "Alright then. Enjoy!" as the shopkeeper turned to walk away, "Uncle Sam!" _

"_Hm?" _

" _Thank you," Sam gave a smile, "Any time my boy."_

_At the first bite that Naruto took, all hell broke lose from within. Tears fell like the pouring rain outside the window and he wanted nothing more than to shout out loud at anything or anyone that __**what had he done to deserve this?**__ But he didn't, he merely sat there and cried for all he was worth. He told himself that he had no right to hate Sasuke for leaving, for abandoning him. They were nothing more than just friends. He didn't dare to think that they could be still called best friends and as for his feelings for Sasuke? __**They can burn in hell for all I care!**__ Was his exact thought at that moment. _

Naruto was never in denial of his feelings for Sasuke. Since they were 5, Naruto was sure that this was the person who would be with him for his entire lifetime but being 5 and all, they didn't know the notion of love.

"_Now Naruto, would you like to describe your family portrait to the class?"  
_"_Yes! Yes! That's dad there with the yellow hair, just like me! Then there's mummy with the pretty red hair! And Tsunade-baa-baa and Jiraiya-jii-jii! And there's Sasuke!" Naruto explained while pointing animatedly at the various stick figures on his drawing block.  
_"_Sasuke is part of your family?" Iruka gave Naruto a quizzical look.  
_"_Yup! Sasuke is my bestest friend! I love him and he is my very important person! Just like dad, mummy, Tsunade-baa-baa and Jiraiya-jii-jii!"  
_"_That's very nice, Naruto. Now, Sasuke, do you want to share yours?" And Iruka was not surprised to find a smiling blonde in the midst of Sasuke's black-haired family._

Elementary school passed them by just like any pair of best friends. Being in the same class, competing over their favourite subjects, going home together, hanging out together and much much more. All the stuff you've done with your best friend, they had too. And it was when they've got separated in middle school that Naruto learnt that he couldn't live without Sasuke by his side.

The day when they received their postings and realized that they could not get into the same school, Naruto cried his heart out; behind Sasuke's back.

"_Dobe? Dobe? Naruto? Naruto!"  
_"_Huh?"  
_"_Are you alright?"  
_"_Haha! Yeah! Of course! Why not!"  
_"…"  
"_I'm fine! Really! See!"  
_"_Hn. You do know that even though we're in different school things won't change right?"  
_"_Hahaha! Of course I know!" and there was that genuine smile.  
__"Hn."_

They were 15 when Naruto realized that what he held towards Sasuke was not friendship but something more. But society's a bitch. He knew he could never walk out of the closet. And he could not risk losing Sasuke. So, he shoved his feelings under his bed and went about everyday as if nothing changed.

"_Sasuke! Why don't you ever go on dates?"  
_"_Coming from you?" Naruto never dated either.  
_"_I'm different! Nobody wants to date meeeeeee!" a convincing whine.  
_"_Hn."  
_"_Answer meeeeeeeeeeee!"  
_"_You take up too much of my time and life for me to date someone."  
_"_EH! You're blaming me?"  
_"_Hn."  
_"_No fair! You could ditch me and go dating! I've never said you couldn't or anything! You can't blame me!"  
_"_Then you'll whine and cry again like you did when we didn't get into the same middle school."  
_"_Wha? What? WHAT?"  
_"_Hn"  
_"_I totally did NOT do that!"  
_"_Hn."  
_"_Teme! Wait! Sasuke! Wait for me to pack my things damnit! HEY!"  
__A sigh and an about-turn, "Hurry up, dobe."_

They were 16 when Naruto realized that he was always one step behind Sasuke. As they finished middle school, Sasuke once again went to a high school that was better. Naruto was crestfallen, but he knew, he just didn't have the smarts to get into the same school as Sasuke. Either ways, they had gone by the years in middle as close as they had always been. Naruto had faith that things would always remain the same.

_"And history repeats itself." Naruto said as he starred at their posting letters yet again.  
_"_Your school's not all that bad."  
_"_Yours so far!"  
_"_Does it matter?"  
_"_I wont get to see you as often!"  
__"We stay two streets apart, dobe."_

They were in the middle of high school when they started talking about the future. Or rather Sasuke had mentioned it first. The future has always slipped Naruto's mind because he was so contented with the present, school's great, he has the best family and a best friend that anyone could ask for, why the rush and think about the future?

"_Naruto, have you ever thought of what you want to do in the future?"  
_"_Hm…?"  
_"_Future, Naruto, your future."  
_"_Hm… I really don't know. You've thought about it?"  
_"_Hn."  
_"…"  
"_I want to see the world."  
_"_Leave here?"  
_"_Hn."  
__A heartbreaking sentence, "That's great! I'll support you till the end!"_

And that was the reason why Naruto never liked mentioning the future, because he can't see Sasuke in his future. So he told himself, he will not let Sasuke go until it's time to let go. But who knew that bastard did this to him instead! So he did a very Naruto-ish thing. When the fact that Sasuke had left sunk in, he shoved all his feelings aside and covered this feeling with rage. He swore that if he ever sees Sasuke again, he's going to give him a thrashing he'll never forget.

With that thought in mind, life went on. But Naruto still didn't manage to date anyone. Because every time someone (guy or girl, because he had finally declared that he was bi) came up to him and asked him out, his treacherous mind couldn't help but compared them with Sasuke. And none of them even made it near the mark.

* * *

It was four years, two months and twenty-seven days later (not that Naruto counted, if you asked him) that Naruto found Sasuke sitting in his room, on his bed, reading his book, looking like the past four years was nothing but a dream.

"Sa…Sasuke…?"

"Hn. You're home."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Naruto was shaking, with joy or anger, he couldn't tell. All he knew was that Sasuke was here in his room like nothing ever happened and talking to him as though he just saw him yesterday.

"…"

Sasuke didn't answer, so Naruto marched up to him and gave him a punch in the face. A punch which consisted of four years of fury and pent up frustration. It was hard battling with his tears, but in the end Naruto's tears won and streamed down his cheeks. Ignoring his stinging cheek, Sasuke cupped Naruto's face. He was wiping away the tears gently as he moved Naruto's face up to look at him.

"Naruto, I'm home." And this sentence struck a chord in Naruto. Despite being overjoyed at Sasuke's confession of coming home, he was furious. Did Sasuke expect him to just forgive him like that? No way! He can't do that! When Sasuke left him, it was betrayal at its worst; Sasuke couldn't just come back and act like nothing happened and expect them to go back to how they were like.

So Naruto composed himself, "So?"

"You aren't going to welcome me back or something?" Sasuke was frowning.

"Hell no! You think that you can leave without a word and then come back expecting everything to remain the same? NO!" then there was rage.

"I… you… just…"

"I you just what?" Naruto shouted, "It was fun leaving me behind? Not even a call, a note, a mail or **anything at all! **And I had to go through all that shit because you left and I couldn't get over it!"

"Naruto! Listen! Listen okay. I'm… I'm sorry okay. I have my reasons for just leaving like that. I'm sorry." And it hadn't even occurred to Naruto that Sasuke, the ice prince from hell, just apologized to him.

"You're sorry? And just because you said you are sorry and I have to accept it? You betrayed my trust Sasuke! I thought we were best friends… I thought… _you won't leave me like that._" The last part was so soft that Sasuke almost didn't catch it.

"I thought we were best friends too but I realized we were not… we can't be…" Startled blue eyes looked up at him, pain and rage flashed through those eyes and Naruto was about to start another screaming session when Sasuke spoke first, "because somewhere along the line, I've fallen in love with you."

And there was deafening silence.

"Naruto, I love you." And Sasuke sealed his lips over Naruto.

It took a while before the gears started moving again in Naruto's head. He wanted to give in to the kiss, it had been his dream to know what it was like to kiss Sasuke but no, the more stubborn part of him could not accept it. How could Sasuke say that he love him but yet walked out of his life so suddenly? So he shoved Sasuke away. Face red and panting.

"And that is your half-assed reason for leaving me! For going to England!"

"No! It was just… just… if I discussed it with you you'd ask me to go. If I had told you, and you came to send me off, I'll give in to my whim and stay."

"And that gave you a reason not to contact me at all?" Naruto didn't understand. What kind of wrap logic was that!

"Contacting you would just remind me that you're on the other side of the world, out of my reach."

"And **whose choice** was it!"

"I had to. I wanted to study there. I wanted to visit England. It has always been my dream! You know that!"

"So that gave you a reason to leave without a word!"

"I've already said I'm sorry! Why can't we just move on! Just say you love me too and then we can start all over again!"

Being away for four years didn't change Sasuke's attitude, it was still as cocky, as assertive and as practical as it can be. "What in the world gave you the idea that I love you?"

"You."

Naruto's eyes widened, "What?"

"You've said it when we were 5…"

"I – "

"And you've said it again when we were 16."

"Wh – "

"At a sleepover, at my house. You slept-talk."

"That was 6 years ago! I don't love you anymore." It was illogical for Naruto to say this but you couldn't blame him. The fear of having Sasuke go _see the world_ again overpowered the courage for Naruto to be with Sasuke to be with him. If he had to go through another round of Sasuke leaving him again, he won't survive. He knows it. So the most rational thing for him to do now is to kick Sasuke back out of his life.

"You do."

"Just what the – "

"Your mum told me." _just what is it with him and reading my mind?_

"She thought wrong."

"Naru – "

"Get out." _I cannot do this. I cannot. I cannot. I cannot._ With that he shoved Sasuke out without even giving Sasuke the chance to explain.

As he heard footsteps descended the stairs and the front door closing, _che, so much for loving me. _And tears cam pouring forth once more. Sasuke could never imagine how much those three words meant to Naruto to, _but it had came too late_. Call it being selfish, but Naruto didn't want to go through that again. He didn't want to establish something with Sasuke and only having being abandoned again.

It was three days later when Sasuke's mother called him and told him that Sasuke was hospitalized for being knocked down by a car because he wasn't paying attention when he was crossing the road and she thought that Naruto should be informed. She was sobbing so hard on the phone that Naruto could barely make out what she was saying and Itachi had to take over and inform him of Sasuke's hospital and ward number.

Naruto was trembling as he rushed to the hospital. _What was he thinking! Crossing the road like that! Coming back then getting knocked down! Shit!_ He was afraid to lose Sasuke to the world, but he was terrified at the fact that he would lose Sasuke to death. _Stay alive! Damnit! Stay alive! I'll stop throwing my stupid tantrum and we'll start over._

Naruto raced all the way up to Sasuke's ward and saw Mikoto sobbing outside, with his own mother and Itachi by their side; comforting them. "He's inside." Itachi motioned for him to go in. "How bad is it?" "He's in a coma." And fresh tears burst forth from both Mikoto's and his mother's eyes.

Naruto pushed open the door and saw Sasuke lying on the bed with an IV drip connected to his hand. Something inside him struck again as tears came silently, while he held Sasuke's face. "You stupid idiot, doing stupid things like that. What the hell were you thinking? Are you trying to kill yourself the moment you get back?" He leaned down lower and lower, until their lips were only a hair's breath apart. "I love you too, you idiot. Wake up, please." As Naruto's lips descended on Sasuke's, he felt Sasuke kissing back and shock made him jerk away from the kiss. Sasuke lazily opened his eyes and stared at Naruto.

"You! You! Y- "

"Was asleep."

"But! But! Your mum said – "

And a timely feminine voice cut into Naruto's incoherent sentences, "Ah. There's still hope then Kushina?"

"Of course! How can a mother ever _thought wrong_?"

As they turned to leave, Naruto didn't missed that smirk Itachi gave him and Kushina's "Sasuke would make such a good son-in-law."

Naruto turned back to Sasuke, pointing an accusing finger he started, "You! You – "

"Are innocent. I have no idea what they were up to."

"But! But! – "

"You cared."

"I! I! I thought – " The series of events seemed to have stripped Naruto of his ability of speech.

"You love me." Sasuke sat up and pulled Naruto down to sit on his bed.

"They were in cahoots and I thought you were in a coma and you might die and – "

"You might lose me, so what you said must be true then. You love me." Sasuke was smiling. Naruto opened his mouth to retort but any objections were being swallowed by Sasuke as he claimed Naruto's lips. And this time, Naruto responded.

When they finally pulled apart, "So you'll forgive me now?"

"Do I have a choice? You bastard. Everyone's on your side!" Despite the name-calling and the feeling of being cheated upon, Naruto was smiling.

Sasuke chuckled, "Lucky me. But I don't want to be best friends anymore, in case we haven't got that fact established."

Naruto blushed, "I know." Then he recovered, "What are you doing in the hospital anyway!"

"Got knocked down by a bike. And I had a bad fever since the day you chased me out of your house so I sort of fainted when the bike knocked into me. My mum thought that it's be good if I stayed in the hospital for a check up."

"And the drip?"

"Low on glucose."

"So I've been out-rightly cheated?"

"Hn."


End file.
